Lord of the Miserable, The Fellowship
by M. Mabeuf
Summary: What happens when you combine Fellowship of the Ring and Les Miserables?
1. Prologue

Now here is my own version of fun- twisting together the LM (musical) and FotR (movie). Inspired by LesMisLoony's The New Production. So yea. Oh, the songs aren't in a particular order and I might throw in odd references and songs from different things and so forth. Here we go!

_In the year 3434 of the Second Age..._

Slaves:

**Look down, look down,**

Don't look him in THE EYE

Look down, look down,

You're here until you die  
  
Elrond:

**The sun is gone,**

But it's hot here in Mt. Doom

(Isildur blatantly ignores him)

Slaves:

**Look down, look down**

There's an eternity to go

Um...Random Guy...that's fighting :

**I've done no wrong**

Sweet Jesus hear my prayer

Me: Ah! You cannot insert religious preferences in here without serious consequences!

(Sauron kills him with a sweep of his hand, and in this case, that is good.)

Slaves:

**Look down, look down**

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

Me: Great. No one listens.

Erik:

**No one would listen**

**No one but her**

**Heard as the outcast hears** ...

Me: Not called for. You're not supposed to make an entrance until... well I can't tell you, can I?

(And Erik walks off the stage sadly muttering something a Punjab lasso...)

Me: Anyways...On with the show!

Another guy:

**I know she'll wait**

I know that she'll be true

(Once again, Sauron and the almighty hand sweep thing)_  
_  
Slaves:

**Look down, look down**

They've all forgotten you

Yoda (for lack of a better character):

**When free I get**

See me you won't

Here for dust! **  
**  
Slaves:

**Look down, look down**

Don't look him in THE EYE (for added emphasis if the CAPITAL letters aren't enough, try raising your eyebrows like Colm Wilkinson)

R2D2(so Yoda won't feel all alone for being the only Star Wars character. And yes, I watched the third one recently):

**Beep beep, beep beep**

**Beep beep beep beep beep beeep?**

Slaves:

**Look down, look down**

You'll always be a slave

Look down, look down

**  
You're standing in your grave**

Sauron's Mouth (from RotK) with Sauron standing behind him :

**Now bring me Isildur!**

Your father's dead,

And his blade's right there (points)****

You know what that means?

Isildur: _standing up  
_  
**Yes, it means REVENGE! **(picks up said sword)

Sauron's Mouth:_  
_  
**No! **(He's killed and has nothing more to say...)

Isildur:

**I will cut off your finger!**

Sauron's Mouth's dead body:

silence...

Isildur:

**And I will take the ring.**

My father is now dead,

And... **yea, we were kings!**

Sauron (who could actually talk the entire time):

**You will never be a king again**

Unless you learn the power of the ring!

Isildur:

**I know the meaning of those bloody wars**

A slave of the ring! (And Samarra would pop up now, except I'm scared of her. So... no.)

Sauron:  
(This is the deleted part because I don't feel like doing this part. Three less lines for Sauron)

Sauron: Oh shit.

Me: Language honey, this is only rated K+... well now it's T. Yea. Thanks.

Isildur:

**My name is ISILDUR! **(war cry...)

Sauron (as he falls down, he manages to sing to compensate for the missing part above.):

**And I am Sauron**.

**Do not forget my name**

Do not forget me

Isildur!

(After his death, Sauron is forgotten, for a very long time, by everyone...except Galadriel)**  
**  
Slaves:

**Aha! We're all free! **(Cue the attacks from Orcs, Uruk-hai, and so it goes... evermore. Life has dealt them some terrible blows. Oh. Sorry.)

A/N: Well, you know the rest... right? RIGHT? And yes, I know that back then in 3434 of the Second Age, Sauron wouldn't have been the EYE. But, hey. It's too much fun.


	2. Bilbo on a Cloud

A/N: Well, here's the next scene from the movie. Have fun!

Frodo:

**There is a Bilbo out somewhere**

**I like to go there in my sleep**

**There are adventures for me to seek**

**There with my Bilbo out somewhere**

**There is a room that's full of swords**

**There are a hundred **(**inserts something that rhymes with swords**)** and orcs**

**Bilbo and I will never be apart**

**Not on our adventure out somewhere.**

**Yes, it is Bilbo all in white**

**Holding a book that he wrote**

**He's nice to see, but you mustn't touch**

**Our else he'll say "I want my precious...much..."**

**I know a place where no one's lost**

**I know a place where hobbits can't die**

**Dying at all is not allowed**

**Not with my Bilbo out somewhere...**

**Oh help! I think I here the doorbell now**

**And I'm nowhere near finishing this book!**

**Oh, it's him.**

**Oh, it's GANDALF!**


	3. La la la Carriage Ride

Frodo:

_**la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la. La la la la la la la la. La la la la la la la **_

_**la.**_

Gandalf:

**la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la**

A/N: Yes, that was incredibly short. Oh, _italics_ means that Frodo and Gandalf were singing together. If you've heard CSR, I'm sure you get it. Oh, and thanks to the lovely reviewers. The reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy. Well, not fuzzy. But you get it the picture. By the way, this is just the part of the movie when they (Frodo and Gandalf) are sitting in the carriage thing together. You know, I think that this note is longer than the chapter... I'll stop now.


	4. My Dear Host, Bilbo

Tooks:

**Come on you old leech**

Brandybucks:

**Get on with the speech**

Sackville-Bagginses:

**We haven't got all day**

Bilbo:

**Alright, you rowdy lot,**

**Here's a speech to hit the spot**

**Or I'm not a Baggins**

Pippin:

**Alright, here's the fireworks**

**Merry, over here!**

Bilbo:

**I've got to get away...**

**I love you all so dear!**

(A/N: You know what line we're at now, right?)

Bolgers:

**I'm really here for food**

Goodbodies:

**Good thing this only happens once a year**

Gamgee:

**Our host, dear Bilbo**

**He was there so they say**

**At the den of that dragon Smaug**

Grubbs:

**Got there, you see**

**When the dragon was asleep**

Chrubbs:

**But he knew just what to do**

**Crawling through tunnels**

**So I've heard it said**

**Picking through the treausures**

**From the dragon's den**

Burrowers:

**He made a tidy score**

**From the spoils of... plunder**

Bilbo:

**My dear Bagginses and Boffins,**

**My Tooks and Brandybucks,**

**My Grubbs, and dear Chubbs,**

**My Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles,**

**And my dear Proudfoots.**

**It's my one hundred and eleventh birthday!**

**I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, **

**and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.**

**I'll be gone now**

(POOF)

Majority of the crowd:

**Ain't got a clue**

**What he just said in his speech**

**But I don't care that he's gone**

Sackville-Bagginses:

**Wow, what an end!**

**Now to raid his house**

**He must have left me a present**

Frodo:

**Gandalf, over here**

**Where is my dear uncle?**

**Off on the road?**

**One last fun adventure**

Proudfoot:

**It's ProudFEET**

**Just in case anyone was wondering...**

A/N: Some of The Hobbit facts aren't right, I know. But come on, I was _trying_ to

make the words fit the song a bit better. Doubt that it worked. And all the Hobbit names are real Hobbit names. Honestly. Had fun? I hope so. I'll update as soon as I think of what to do next...


	5. shit

Let's begin the awful version of Attack on Rue Plumet!

Frodo:

**Gandalf, what was he thinking**

**Why's he leaving me a ring?**

Gandalf:

**This ring, you're going to carry it**

**To Rivendell, place of Elves**

**You should know that it's the one**

**That use to be on Sauron's finger**

**It has red markings when heated**

(throws in fire to prove his point)

**Perhaps Middle Earth's fate is here!**

Frodo:

**Oh _Boy_, somebody help me!**

**Gandalf, what'll I do?**

(Hah! I've gotten rid of yet another religious preference)

**I'll have to travel across the land**

**You know, I'm really confused**

**What'll I do, when do I leave?**

**I've got to carry the ring**

**I've got to get away**

Gandalf:

**This is**

Me: Oh, you know what? Just skip this part, 'kay, Gandalf? For those who are reading this, just hum that bit in your head. Start at 'Ten years ago'.

Slightly Disgruntled Gandalf:

**Wait here Frodo**

**I hear something in the bushes**

**Maybe an eavesdropper**

**I've got my staff, so I'm armed!**

(vague pointing)

**You should go over there**

(Then throws your dear Gamgee across the table. Yes, he's yours. I don't want him.)

Sam:

**Honest, sir, I wasn't**

**Dropping no eaves!**

**I'm clippin hedges**

**I'm doing my job!**

Gandalf:

**You shut your mouth**

**Go with Mr. Frodo**

(And the mysteriously acquired Bill)

(Time Passes)

Pippin:

**What have we here?**

Merry:

**Who are these hobbits?**

Frodo:

**It's the prat we call Sam**

(Okay, sorry, that's me talking)

**Don't you know that I'm Frodo**

**Why's Farmer Maggot chasing you?**

Pippin:

**Hold these**(Gives Sam crops) **Merry, we should run**

**Let us all run over here**

**It's a hill! Oh, MUSHROOMS!**

Time Passes

Frodo:

**I know this place, I tell you **

**There's nothing here to fear**

**Just the old man and the inn**

**We should see Gandalf here**

Aragorn:

**Hey, Underhill!**

(pulls into room)

**You've got some trinket**

**Take care, young hobbit**

**We really shouldn't stay**

Sam:

**I'll have you longshanks!**

Door Guard... Guy:

**Who's there? **

(Gets smushed by horses and doors)

Aragorn:

**Let's go, RINGWRAITHS!**

**We'll run to Weathertop**

Time Passes

Frodo:

**Put out the fire! You FOOLS! **

Ringwraiths:

**Screech**

No one talks/sings right now

Hobbits are in a little circle

Aragorn is... not here yet

(Frodo screams)

(Maybe I should say- After he's been stabbed, he screams)

Aragorn:

**You wait Frodo, you'll be alright**

-Too busy swirling torches at wraiths to sing-

**Sam do you know Athelas, Kingsfoil? It's a weed**

**Go through the forests, it may slow the poisoning**

Arwen:

**What's this? A ranger caught off guard?**

**Once more, Arwen saving the day**

**Dearest Aragorn- I will take Frodo**

**Bring him to me, I know the way**

**Ringwraiths are near**

**My horse is fast**

**To Rivendell!**

Aragorn:

**Elendil, Arwen!**

**Ride fast, don't look back**

Sam:

**Don't you know the wraiths are still out there?**

(For those wondering- That should have been Aragorn's line song wise)

Arwen:

**Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer, **

**Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulair! **

**Frodo, come back to me and hear my voice**

Frodo:

**Uurrghh**

A/N: Sorry, I stretched how many scenes into one song? Ah, and I even ended the song early. Aiya, I'm reading over this... some parts are seriously skrewed, this entire chapter is a bit... Just bear with me a bit, alright? Next chapter will be better. I hope. -damn hobbits...- I'd stop the story because of the chapter, but I really want to get to Fantine's death.


	6. One Ring Less

Oh, by the way, some of the characters are talking to themselves or the ring, mainly Frodo.

-One Day More/ One Ring Less-

Elrond:

**One ring less**

**Another ring, another destiny**

**This never ending road to Mount Doom**

**These men who seem to know of crime**

**Will surely fail a second time**

**One ring less**

Frodo:  
**I did not live until today  
How can I live when we are parted**

Elrond:  
**One ring less**

Boromir:  
**Mount Doom is worlds away**  
**And yet with you, my father's happy**

Aragorn:  
**And I know I'm not alone**

Boromir:  
**There are lands filled with ash**

Aragorn:  
**One more day with Arwen with me**

Boromir:  
**The great EYE is ever watching**

Aragorn:  
**What a life I might have known.**

Boromir:  
**And I swear, we will surely die**

Aragorn:  
**But I just don't want to be king **

Simba pops out from a multicolored bush:  
**Oooh, I just can't wait to be king!**

Aragorn:  
**... That's not what I said**

_And so, Simba crawls off to the head of a giraffe.  
_  
Boromir:  
**Don't you know, this is folly**

Frodo:  
**Do I follow where it goes**

Legolas:  
**Have you heard our Lord Elrond?**

Frodo:  
**Shall I join the others there**

Aragorn:  
**When our fellowship begin to form**

Frodo:  
**Do I go, to that Mount Doom?**

A/N: Honestly, would you want to go somewhere with the word DOOM in it?

Elf next to Legolas:  
**I'm just as pretty without a name**

Gimli:  
**I'd rather die**, **than work with Elves **

Elrond:  
**One ring less**

Gandalf:  
**One more day until destruction  
We will see that Sauron falls  
I will join these shorter people  
I will leave them in Moria!**

Elrond:  
**One ring less**

Merry and Pippin:  
**We're Hobbits too  
We want to join Frodo**

A/N: You think they'd mind if I cut that part out?

Elves:  
**We think that dwarves are ugly**

Dwarves:  
**But elves are just so sissy**

Elves:  
**Aragorn should be a king  
**  
Dwarves:  
**Wait until Return of the King!**

Elves:  
**There's a villain to be destroying**

Dwarves:  
**There's a villain to be destroyed**

Ring:  
**Do you hear the races fight?**

Frodo:  
**My place is there, I'll destroy you**

Elrond:  
**One ring less**

Boromir:  
**I cannot believe what I hear**

Aragorn:  
**And I know I'm not alone**

Boromir:  
**And yet with you, my father's happy**

Gandalf:  
**I will join this group of heroes  
I will follow where they go  
I will teach them little secrets  
They still won't know all that I know**

Elrond:  
**I hate my lines**

Boromir:  
**Mount Doom is worlds away**

Aragorn:  
**What a life I might have known**

Boromir:  
**And yet with you my world has started**

Gandalf:  
**One more day until destruction  
We will see that Sauron falls**  
**I can't wait to leave at Moria**

Merry and Pippin:  
**We're Hobbits too  
We want to join Frodo  
To get rid of us  
Tie us in a sack to stop us**

A/N: My, my. Isn't Pippin creative?

Elrond:  
**Tomorrow they'll be far away  
Tomorrow is the fellowship's day**

ALL  
**Tomorrow we'll discover  
What our**  
_(everyone goes quite, not knowing how else to avoid the religious reference)_  
**One less day**  
**One less ring  
One ring less!**


End file.
